For Couples
Steps to Take
Diocese of Richmond Guidelines for Marriage Preparation
(8 to 12 Months Prior to Your Proposed Wedding Date)
- Step One: Couple Has Initial Meeting with Priest or Deacon
- Step Two: Couple Completes a FOCCUS Pre-marital Inventory
- Step Three: Couple Registers and Attends an Approved pre-Marriage Educational Program
- Step Four: Couple Completes Natural Family Planning (NFP) Instruction
- Step Five: Couple Has Meeting with Priest or Deacon
- Step Six: Catholic Couples are Encouraged to Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation
- Step Seven: Couple Has Final Meeting with Priest or Deacon
Step One: Couple Has Initial Meeting with Priest or Deacon
The marriage preparation process begins with your first call to the parish inquiring about being married in the Church. Call as soon as you get engaged!
A member of the parish staff will facilitate arrangements for you to meet with the pastoral minister (usually a priest or deacon of the parish) as soon as possible. The unique situation of each engaged couple is given personal attention through the interviews with the parish priest or deacon.
A date for your wedding may not be entered into the parish calendar until such a meeting takes place.
At the time of your first meeting, the pastoral minister (priest or deacon) will explain the marriage preparation process and provide information about the available marriage preparation programs you are required to attend. You have the option of selecting the program best suited to your needs.
The pastoral minister will begin to fill out the necessary canonical forms and advise you as to what Church and civil documents are needed. Helpful hint, bring your calendar(s).
Step Two: Couple Completes a FOCCUS Pre-marital Inventory
(Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study)
FOCCUS is a premarital inventory that provides a personalized profile of your relationship. The individualized couple feedback covers topic areas important to marriage: life-style expectations, friends, and interests, personality match, personal issues, problem solving, communication, dual careers, religion and values, etc.
Discuss with your priest or deacon when/where the FOCCUS will be administered and how the facilitation/discussion process will take place. (Note: Some parishes use pre-marital inventories other than the FOCCUS.)
It is advised that FOCCUS be taken prior to attending a marriage preparation program.
The pastoral minister will begin to fill out the necessary canonical forms and advise you as to what Church and civil documents are needed.
Helpful hint, bring your calendar(s) and if possible, your baptismal certificate.
Step Three: Couple Registers and Attends an Approved pre-Marriage Educational Program
Working with your pastoral minister, identify the marriage preparation program that best fits your needs. It is important to schedule and complete your marriage preparation program early in the process. There are various regional programs as well as local parish programs available in several locations within the diocese. See programs.
Step Four: Couple Completes Natural Family Planning (NFP) Instruction
NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child. By respecting the love-giving and life-giving natures of marriage, NFP can enrich the bond between husband and wife.
Classes with certified NFP instructors are held in various areas of our diocese. Correspondence courses/home study are also available.
For more information on the theology and practice of NFP, refer to the United States Council of Catholic Bishops' web site.
Where classes are not currently available, it is recommended that you attend a comprehensive introductory session.
Step Five: Couple Has Meeting with Priest or Deacon
This meeting is to discuss your marriage preparation progress as well as any issues that have surfaced or remain from your marriage preparation activities. This is also a time to begin discussing and planning the celebration of your wedding liturgy.
Step Six: Catholic Couples are Encouraged to Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation
It is important to make time for personal prayer and reflection throughout this preparation time. The Sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist are valuable sources of grace and healing. Individuals preparing for Catholic marriages are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Step Seven: Couple Has Final Meeting with Priest or Deacon
As early as possible, within the two months before your wedding date, meet with your priest or deacon. This meeting is to finalize the plans for your wedding liturgy.