For Couples

How do we get started?

You first need to meet with a priest, campus minister. That person will explain the process to you and help guide you through the steps.

If you do not have a priest or deacon contact the nearest Catholic Church. If you are a college student, contact the nearest Catholic campus ministry office. If you need help finding these, call our diocesan offices at 804-359-5661.

When do we get started?

Set up your first meeting as soon after you are engaged as possible, even before you are engaged. Don't wait until the last minute when things will be hectic enough. Remember -- you are taking this time for one another.

We recommend meeting with your priest at least 8-12 months prior to your proposed wedding date.

What is the first meeting about?

The priest or deacon who will officiate at your wedding will assist you throughout the preparation process. You should plan to meet with him several times.

The first time you meet with the priest, he will describe the preparation process and help you get started; bring your calendar and be prepared to plan ahead. Your first meeting could be an hour or more and your priest or deacon will ask you a number of questions.

Do we need any documents?

When you first meet with the priest or deacon, he will tell you exactly what documents you might need, and where and how to get them.

What if we know a priest from somewhere else?

You still need to talk with and work with the local priest, even if another priest will officiate at your wedding. Your visiting priest will need to present his papers and be licensed to marry in the county in which you are to marry. 

What if one of us is not Catholic?

A Roman Catholic can marry someone who is not a Roman Catholic. The one who is not a Roman Catholic does not have to become a Roman Catholic. The marriage preparation process is the same as for two Roman Catholics.

Can our wedding be at my fiancé's church?

With the bishop's permission, your wedding can take place at the church or synagogue that your fiancé regularly attends. The minister or rabbi would officiate instead of the priest. The priest obtains the permission needed by the Roman Catholic party.

What if my fiancé lives out of town?

The priest can make necessary arrangements and accommodations. Your fiancé should, of course, participate with you as much as possible. Processes such as the FOCCUS Inventory can be taken in separate locations. You will need to really work at planning ahead to make the process work for you and your situation.

What if one, or both, of us is Roman Catholic but doesn't go to church?

The preparation process is a time for you to return to the practice of the faith. An active life of faith will provide a firm foundation for marriage and family life. Remember, "Couples who pray together, stay together."

What if one, or both, of us was married before?

You should let the priest know immediately, so he can explain and help you do what is required. Tell him about any previous marriage, even if it did not take place in a Roman Catholic Church and even if neither spouse was a Roman Catholic. There may be additional planning required prior to your marriage in the Church.

How can we get more information?

For more information visit the United States Council of Catholic Bishops' web site or write marriageformation@richmonddiocese.org or call 804-359-5661.